The Bachelor

Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 03.16.17

* It's not just Hawaii; a federal judge in Maryland has also ruled against Donald Trump's revised immigration order. [CNN] * Every woman to ever argue before the Supreme Court. [Supreme Court Brief] * Accusations abound that former Yahoo GC Ronald Bell "took the hit" for CEO Marissa Mayer in the hacking matter. Now if she can someone to take the hit for the company's overall performance, she'll be golden. [CNBC] * Emma Watson pursuing legal action against hackers over leaked photos of a fitting. Expecto litigious! [Time] * Relatedly, Lisa Bloom warns against revenge-porn dealers peddling Mischa Barton pics. [USA Today] * Video game cheating can be a costly industry -- Blizzard is suing a cheat-maker for $8.5 million. Or, you know, 1/200th of what Blizzard brings in annually. [Kotaku] * Immigration could disrupt the happily ever after ending of The Bachelor before the customary 2 months. [Chicago Tribune] * The Mormon Church is getting lessons in the breadth of the First Amendment. [Salt Lake Tribune]

By Joe Patrice
Sponsored Content

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By Charles River Associates (CRA)
Law Schools

Non-Sequiturs: 02.27.14

* If you want male-strippers dressed as cops to come by the house, don’t call 911. [Legal Juice] * These look like some fun Biglaw recruiting events over in England. Too bad if you’re not an Oxford or Cambridge student… [Legal Cheek] * For the comic-loving lawyers out there, Marvel has kicked off a new run of the preeminent lawyer to the superheroes, She-Hulk. [Law and the Multiverse] * How should we judge our prisons? Low incidence of rape and torture would be a good start. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post] * You can’t use your failing company’s Facebook account to poach opportunities for your new company. [IT-Lex] * More coverage of the tensions at UCLA Law School. [Huffington Post] * University ordered to pay $2.5 million to former lawyer it fired for not rubber-stamping some questionable dealings. [Chronicle of Higher Education] * Andi from this season’s The Bachelor has disappeared from the murder trial she was running in Atlanta to take over as next season’s Bachelorette. Maybe she won’t dumb herself down as much when she’s the star of the show. Video of her in court after the jump… [TMZ]

By Joe Patrice
Health Care / Medicine

Non-Sequiturs: 12.06.13

* Another lawyer is going on The Bachelor! This time it’s Andi (pictured), a Wake Forest Law grad who is described as a federal prosecutor (though other sources say she works at the district attorney’s office). She says she got a murder conviction in 8 minutes, which is impressive for someone who graduated last year. Like, hard-to-believe impressive. Well, now she’ll be trading in all that self-respect for roses and 15 minutes of reality TV fame. [Huffington Post] * The law of underground trespassing — when drilling sends contaminants into neighboring land. “I poison your milkshake. I poison it up!” [Breaking Energy] * At least a couple readers have had a bad exam experience already this term. Here’s how to deal with it. The advice is pretty good except for advising you to avoid alcohol. Alcohol is always the answer. [Law School Toolbox] * It’s time to start making moves to improve your long-term quality of life. [Law and More] * Kevin Underhill of Lowering the Bar has a new book about all the stupid laws on the books out there. It’s called The Emergency Sasquatch Ordinance. [Lowering the Bar] * When you hear about the similarities between Obamacare and the Heritage Foundation plan from the old days, recognize you’re getting spun. [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * Trying to balance out religious symbols in public spaces for the holidays is dumb. All you need is the Festivus pole. Lest you forget the story of Festivus, there’s a video embedded beyond the jump…. [PrawfsBlawg]

By Joe Patrice
Goldman Sachs

Non-Sequiturs: 04.17.12

* Apparently, it is illegal to father a second illegitimate child in Mississippi. I guess the first one is a freebie or a Mulligan, or whatever. If for some reason I ever have a personal need to know this tidbit, please shoot me in the face immediately. [Legal Juice] * A class-action lawsuit will be filed tomorrow against the producers of The Bachelor, alleging race discrimination. I’m more concerned about the show’s overall crimes against good taste. (Zing!) [Legal Blog Watch] * Just like a certain Biglaw firm, Goldman Sachs is dealing with a large number of partner defections. Goldman has a pretty good PR spin though: jumping ship is actually a sign of loyalty to the company. Right, just like the crew of the Titanic. [Dealbreaker] * Today is #EqualPayDay. If you’re like me and didn’t know what that means, all you need to know is that the fairer sex is still not paid as much as big dumb oafs like myself. If you want to do something to fix this, Ms. JD has some ideas. [Ms. JD] * Bigotry and prejudice are never okay. UNLESS you want to hate on a new-ish (yet exceedingly popular) religion that is also conveniently in opposition to your liberal political motives. In that case, right this way, sir… [Instapundit] * If you don’t pay your taxes, the government wants to be able to take away your passport. So, hypothetically, if I were planning to flee the U.S. for, say, Spain, to avoid paying my taxes… I should leave, well, now. Umm, IwillseeyoulaterIhavetorunOKbye. [The Atlantic]

By Christopher Danzig
Job Searches

Size Matters: Bachelor Ben Teaches Small Firms How to Pick a New Hire

Like many other Bachelor fans, Valerie Katz devoted approximately 14 hours last night to finding out who Bachelor Ben chose as his future wife. After much soul-searching and a pensive walk through Switzerland, Ben picked Courtney, the model who everyone hated. Ben’s path to “true love” is a lesson not just for pathetic women but also for small-firm hiring partners. Here are the top five takeaways….

By Valerie Katz
Fame Brief

Fame Brief: Illinois 2L Is Kicked Off the Bachelor, Pranked By Classmates

Still reeling from the producers’ decision to include one Latino contestant four seasons ago, The Bachelor franchise is back in Narnia this season with another all-white cast. Available for fake engagement this season is a sexy, seasoned, Biglaw attorney. Just kidding! Erika Uhlig, 23, is a completely average looking 2L at the University of Illinois College of Law. To precisely no one's shock, a law school classmate of Erika's reports that “she’s a bitch"....

By Marin
Reality TV

Meet This Season’s Lawyers from The Bachelorette

This past Monday, middle-aged housewives, quadriplegics who were not able to turn the channel, and yours truly tuned into the 763rd 20th season of The Bachelor franchise. This season stars Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky, an unemployed 25-year-old who quit her job at Facebook and moved back in with her parents to be on the show. Fans […]

By Marin